Alcohol Detox At Home ~ Day 6.
I absolutely can’t believe how quickly the last 5 days has gone, but more to the point I’m now 5 whole days alcohol free!
Previously, when I was able to take a couple of alcohol free days through sheer will power I’d get through evening 1 and wake up on day 2 feeling like I’d conquered the world. I’d be full of beans and convincing myself this is how I wanted to feel every morning.
By the end of day 2 I’d have much less conviction, but through sheer determination would try another alcohol free night.
Unfortunately by the morning of day 3 it was often a completely different story. I’d be feeling nervy, slightly unwell, maybe a bit of joint pain, a headache and so on.
As a result, by the evening of day 3 wine would be the only cure for this shit storm, and plenty of it.
In the last 12 months or so it’s been a different story and even one night without wine would be one night too many.
But look at my progress now. 5 whole days, into day 6 and striding around in my big boy pants.
Only one more day and my body apparently will be detoxed of alcohol. Unfortunately though that’s when the battle really begins, but let’s see about that next week. Every day is one day at a time, and for now I’m celebrating day 6 of wine freedom!
It’s the weekend, what now?
I think I’ve posed this obvious question before, but when you drink every night of the week, what difference does the weekend make?
Friday is just another Monday, Saturday is just another Wednesday, every night’s a wine night, right?
WRONG – Definitely 100% wrong!
There’s something different about the weekend that makes drinking more pleasurable. It almost feels like a treat, despite the fact that I’d probably sank a dozen or more bottles before I’d even reached Friday night.
Last night was Ok though. I’m still on the Librium (albeit a much reduced dose now) and although my mood was one of slight dissappointment because I’d missed my Friday night treat/not treat, I was in control and coping with soft drinks and caffeine.
It’s suprising, when you start to look at soft drinks what an array of alternatives there are out there beyond Diet Coke!
In fact, I might do a post on alcoholic drink alternatives. Last October when I started this journey (It’s July now) when I was wasting time thinking I could cut back by swapping out the alcoholic for non-alcoholic, or swapping my wine fix for a Gin and Tonic and all that nonsense, it became obvious just how much choice there is in non-alcoholic wines, spirits and beers, and some of them are really good.
But just to be clear on this (again), my destination in the end was to become alcohol free. However, that may not be the path for everybody, so if you’re reading this post and thinking Paul’s just said it’s a waste of time trying to cut back with non-alcohol alternatives then I’m talking about me and my experience because I was too dependant by this point.
For other people who perhaps are not so dependant then I would definitely recommend alternating and experimenting with non-alcoholic versions of your favourite drink. Have a go and mix it up a little, particularly during the week if you have to attend work or have other responsibilities.
Librium. Breakfast x 1. – Lunch x 0 – Evening Meal x 1. – Bedtime x 1.
Thiamin. 1 tablet 4 times per day.
Blood Pressure. Stable
Nothing remarkable planned today. My wife is out at work, bless her. She works for a major retailer that’s allowed to stay open during the Pandemic, so currently she’s in demand and working extra hours.
Retail workers have definitely been the unsung hero’s during these unusual times. Without them being prepared to go into work and putting their health on the line then our stores just couldn’t open to keep us supplied with food and other major items essential to our well-being, such as fence paint!!
Is it just me, or did anybody else notice that for once the British stopped talking about the weather and instead discussed the shortage of fence paint? Seriously, it was a non-stop topic!
They do though deserve our sincere thanks. (Not the fence paint manufacturers, I’m mean the thousands of retail workers and supply chain workers)
Definitely a big shout out to all those people.
So, feeling pretty chilled. The Librium has a nice calming effect, so I can feel a little snooze coming on. The dogs are both flat out on the rug and the cat is curled up on a cushion, so why not join them?
I’ll tell you why, because 15 seconds later the F’king phone rang.
“Dad – Dad – My house alarm is going off and it won’t stop. What should I do?”
Why do daughters always ask what should they do in a perceived emergency, when really what they mean is come round now and sort it out for god’s sake or you’ll never hear the end of it. Especially if I have to get a man in and it costs me money.
Fortunately she only lives local, so no driving involved even though I’m on a really low dose of Librium now.
Sure enough, house alarm going off, keypad dead and control panel overheating.
A quick isolation of the system, followed by a phone call to an alarm guy friend of mine who relieved me of £100 and problem resolved.
# Warning to all Dad’s. Notice how the £100 came out of my pocket, and I don’t even live there. Perhaps it was a side effect of the Librium. It’s turned me into a generous chilled out Hippie.
After all that excitement I think I definitely deserved that nap, and I most definitely wasn’t going to put myself into the Trigger Zone of making a Saturday night evening meal now I’m on a minimal dose of Librium.
We’ve not had a take away meal since lock down, so off to the kitchen drawer to find a menu for our local Oriental – Won Hung Lo.
Obviously it’s not really called Won Hung Lo, that’s quite a painful condition for a man; but we chose our favourite dishes, placed the order and it duly arrived at what felt like 3 O’Clock in the morning due to a shortage of delivery drivers.
However, that said it was extremely tasty and well worth the 60 minute wait.
Final Point for Today
I’m now at the end of Day-6. Tomorrow is Sunday and my final day of detox.
Has the weekend been easy? If I’m being totally honest, no it hasn’t.
It’s not that I’ve particularly missed the buzz that I get from drinking wine or the feeling of being intoxicated, the medication has taken care of that, it’s more the weekend association connected with it.
I can only liken it to when I used to smoke years ago, when you could smoke in a pub or restaurant.
The buzz then wasn’t particularly the nicotine hit. The buzz was standing at the bar, ordering that first drink, reaching into my jacket pocket for that fresh pack of Silk Cut or whatever I smoked at the time, unwrapping the new packet, drawing out that first cigarette and lighting it while waiting for the drinks to be placed on the bar.
The buzz, the thrill, the attraction or whatever it was certainly wasn’t in the consumption, it was associated with the expectation of something nice happening. Almost like a reward or a treat, or a feeling of satisfaction that all was well with my world at that moment.
Maybe that’s just me. For other folk it might be a different experience and a different reason, but I know one thing, I know association is a very powerful emotion, and one that keeps drawing you back into this little habit of destructiveness.
But as I keep telling myself, this is a journey, and one that is taken a day at a time, so let’s see what tomorrow brings.
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